remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize