Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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