You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
