and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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