just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
