All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
