I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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