Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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