had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
All the doctor said was why
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
