when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
