Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Sorry my hands just texted you
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
