escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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