my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
