I want to walk on stilts...naked
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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