im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
