I bet he comes in French.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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