i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
NoShamevember. You game?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just gargled with NyQuil
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
