how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
