You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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