I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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