here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
