something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
