What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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