So drunk its hurt
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
