remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize