My pussy is not your playground.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
