Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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