I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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