And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
