I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
third nipple confirmed
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
