Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
