chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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