I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Can you bring me the toilet please
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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