i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
