Taylor Swift is so right about you.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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