I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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