Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
