the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
They have beer where we have blood.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
