Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
