We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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