Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You pole danced in your parka.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
