i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
