apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize