you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
