Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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