Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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