i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Just puked most of my soul out..
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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