My Higher Power is John Stamos
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Randomize
