I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm eating all of the evidence.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
