You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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