I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
