Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
