i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
