Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
