I wanna bring you to show and tell
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
