Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Randomize
