so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
