when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
