How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
