There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize