I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
