so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
3 2 1 whiskey
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
