If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
