I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
