It's Friday. Sex?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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