I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just had sex on a roof
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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