Don't you send me to vm
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
